Surprise Visit from Uncle Todd

Cari's brother Todd paid us a surprise visit on Wednesday. Todd decided to travel to Dayton for business at the Air Force base in the morning and joined us for dinner that night (at Rusty Buckets near the Dayton Mall). He also came out to the house and became our first guest to use the new hot tub. We had a wonderful time (and always welcome surprise visitors)!

Jason Hates My Cat

Jason Hates My Cat
by “Weird” Dave Borchardt
Special to the Weekly Eckstra

It’s not a secret: Jason hates my cat.

I can say with a high degree of confidence on behalf of the cat the feeling is mutual. Most cat owners will agree, though, a cat’s hatred is often, in is most redeeming quality, equal opportunity based. Just like most other felines in the world, my cat doesn’t discriminate—he hates just about everybody.

What is unusual to me is that the cat hates Jason.

Jason Eckert is perhaps the most loveable, giant stuffed teddy bear on the face of this planet. This is the same guy who gave his real estate agent a hug--not the one in Milwaukee selling his house--the one in Dayton, Ohio whom he had just met in person the day before.

Suffice to say, Jason Eckert is the one person on this planet who I can think of who potentially has no enemies.

Except my cat.

This mutual disdain isn’t new—it began years ago when Jason and the cat first met in Georgia. In one of life’s little ironies, as the Eckerts were transitioning from Milwaukee to Dayton, my family and I were in the middle of transitioning from Dayton to Texas. In an effort to show some hospitality and to see a friend I hadn’t in so many years, I opened my house to Jason, Cari, Cassi and Tommy to stay for a few days while they checked out the jewel of lower-central southwestern Ohio.

As Jason and Cari had a great deal of house-hunting to do, we went our separate ways during the day. One evening, while enjoying an overpriced coffee and studying for an exam at the local St. Panera Bread Company, I received a phone call from Jason.

“Uhm…Dave….there’s a problem with the cat.” I was concerned. As many of you know, “Uhm…” is what Jason says out loud instead of the four-letter word he his thinking of.

In the course of the conversation it became apparent the cat had somehow attacked Jason and his family and now was holding them hostage. They had locked themselves in a room and from the commotion in the background, it sounded like my cat and a legion of Orcs were trying to break down the door.

No, I am not kidding.

I have owned my cat for more than 10 years now. It weighs a whopping 9 ½ pounds and has no front claws. It has never, and I mean never, drawn blood other than accidentally while jumping from my lap or playing—except for this time.

Next on Fox: when Dave’s cat attacks.

When I arrived at home, I found the cat sitting in front of a door that was normally open. He approached me, rubbed my leg and then went over to his food dish, clearly unconcerned as if to communicate “Cat: one, Jason: zero.”

I cautiously opened the door and found Jason and his family barricaded in my home office. Had Jodi Foster been present, I would have mistaken it for a scene from the movie Panic Room. Every few months or so, you read about a tragic story where, for seemingly no reason, a chimpanzee tears off someone’s face, a panda bear rips off someone’s arm or a tiger mauls an overly flamboyant Las Vegas magician. Apparently, these sorts of situations are not confined to exotic pets—you just don’t hear about my cat in the news.

The attack was a fairly traumatic event for the Eckert kids—at least for Tommy. I was upset, Jason was concerned (Jason never gets above “concerned” for anything short of nuclear war), I believe the cat was in real danger of being strangled by Cari and I was a bit fearful I was next. Needless to say, the cat was confined for the rest of the visit, Cari and Tommy made a visit to the local doc-in-a-box and, hopefully, the physical scars have healed.

I truly still feel bad about the incident. How do you apologize for such a thing? Hallmark doesn’t make a “sorry my cat tried to eat your family” card. The cat still lives with me in Houston and, though we don’t discuss it, I am pretty sure he still hates Jason.

Jason told me a few months ago, long after the incident, Tommy turned to him out of the blue and said, “Daddy, (Dave’s cat) doesn’t like us very much does he?”

Despite what Tommy thinks, the cat hates Jason, but loves Jason’s family.

They’re delicious.

On Dave, His Cat, and His Posting

I hope you enjoyed the first-ever guest posting from a Weekly Eckstra contributor. From time to time I'll mix in guest postings from friends who are frequent readers. (Contact me if you are interested.)

Dave, his wife Diana, and their beautiful daughter Catherine are dear friends of ours. Dave was, in fact, the best man in our wedding. We were very sad to learn that just as we were arriving in Dayton, they were departing for Houston. Notice how I didn't say that the cat was a dear friend of ours? The experience with Scooter was tramautic to say the least. I think the physical scars have just about healed (for the record, both Tommy and Cari were attacked after Tommy somehow accidentally spooked the cat). Rather than actually kill the cat, I kicked him out of the computer area and barricaded our family behind the doors which conveniently separated the computer area from the rest of the family room. We thankfully had a phone and could call Dave home from his coffee/studies.

To her credit, Cari laughed out loud when reading Dave's post. I asked her for her reaction to the column. She said, "That posting is so Dave. I can laugh about it now, although I'll never, ever sleep under the same roof with that cat again." I have a feeling the kids feel the same way (but would love to see the Borchardts in the near future).

Cassie's First Father-Daughter Dance

I had the joy of escorting Cassie to our first Father-Daughter dance as a part of her girl scout troop's annual program. The dance was last Saturday night and was so much fun. I also learned the lyrics to so many Miley Cyrus and Jonas Brothers songs! Cassie seemed to really enjoy herself and also won the raffle drawing for the large princess basket.

Explaining Jason’s Sports Allegiances

Explaining Jason’s Sports Allegiances
A Weekly Eckstra Column

Those of you who know me well know that I am a sports fanatic. I love following so many sports, listening to sports talk radio, playing fantasy football – the list could go on and on. The upcoming NCAA men’s basketball tournament makes March one of my favorite times of the year. Many friends love to poke fun at me over the teams I cheer for and wonder if there is a method for my madness.

To be fair – my odd rooting pattern only applies to college basketball. I am fairly traditional for most sports, cheering mostly for St. Louis-based teams for baseball, the NFL, and the NHL. After living in Milwaukee for nine years, I also tend to cheer for the Packers, Brewers, and Bucks, but not when they are playing for my beloved Cardinals and Rams.

I must admit that I do cheer for a large number of college basketball teams. Part of it has to do with my occupation – not many people work at organizations that also host NCAA Division 1 teams. Imagine how it would feel if your employer had a major basketball program playing on television. (This week we have Wells Fargo taking on SSM Healthcare with the winner facing the winner of the Enterprise-Boeing matchup.) I have been fortunate to attend and work at institutions that have had basketball success during my time there: Saint Louis University, Oklahoma State University, Marquette University, and now the University of Dayton. How do I decide who to cheer for, especially when they play each other? For the most part I adopt a “love the one you’re with” philosophy. In order of preference, I cheer for:

1. Dayton (great young team and hey, they pay the bills)
2. Marquette (worked there for nine years and taught most of the players)
3. Oklahoma State (went to graduate school there)
4. Saint Louis (was an undergrad there)
5. Missouri (grew up in St. Louis with many fans of Mizzou)

I’m thrilled that all but SLU made the tournament. While there are many tournament possibilities, it is likely that Marquette and Missouri will play each other in the second round. I’ll be cheering for Marquette – we’ll see who my bracket predicts as the winner.

Speaking of March Madness and brackets . . . it is sad that only four non-BCS conference schools made the big dance (Dayton, Xavier, BYU, and Butler). You wonder if the “power conferences” have influenced the committee to not select as many “mid-majors” as have been in the tournament in previous years (and for the most part done well). I hope these teams (especially those from the Atlantic-10 Conference) make some noise. Enjoy the college basketball!

Enjoying Our New Hot Tub

We are now the proud owners of our very own hot tub! We purchased this hot tub after a recent visit to the Dayton Home Show (and a surprise tax refund from Uncle Sam). It is a great addition to the back patio and another great reason to visit us!

Cassie Loses Her First Tooth!

On Saturday morning, while visiting Grandma Sandy and Papa Leo in St. Louis, Cassie lost her first tooth! This process took a very long time as Cassie was very reluctant to allow anyone to touch her touch her tooth as it was getting more and more loose. I have a feeling future teeth will come out much more quickly now that Cassie knows that the process does not hurt much and that the tooth fairy brings a crisp $1 bill for a tooth!

We had a very enjoyable weekend in St. Louis. We spent most of the day on Saturday at Todd and Nancy’s house for Matthew and Christine Burns’ baby shower (their son, Matthew Jr., is due in May).

March 14 Update: Cassie lost her second tooth today. She really wiggled this one out quickly. She is now missing to lower front teeth and the Tooth Fairy needed to make change in a hurry!

Balloons are a Gift from Satan

Balloons are a Gift from Satan
A Weekly Eckstra Column


The Devil puts many things in this world to tempt and frustrate us. While not necessarily bad or evil in their own right, these temptations, when enjoyed in excess, can lead to problems. Some examples of this are Facebook, Sprecher products, gourmet ice cream, and pictures of Jennifer Anniston or George Clooney (insert you own favorites here). I’m firmly convinced that balloons are one of the Devil’s gifts, put on this earth to tempt children and eternally frustrate parents.

I hate balloons. I am not the kind of person who likes to hate anything but can’t help but to hate balloons. To clarify, I don’t hate the type of balloons that serve some sort of practical purpose, such as hot air balloons and balloons used in healthcare procedures. I hate your common everyday balloon given to children at parties and restaurants. Nothing good can come out of giving a child a balloon! While balloons produce momentary glee on the faces of children, they ultimately lead to sadness, tears, and depression. I speak from firsthand experience. Once Cassie received a helium-filled balloon from the local Applebees (Tommy was still a baby). After we reached our next destination and opened her car door, the change in air pressure sucked her balloon out of the SUV and into the heavens. Tears and a fit ensued and we eventually drove five miles back to the restaurant for a new one.

We just experienced a reenactment of this situation. On Sunday, we enjoyed lunch at Red Robin in St. Louis with my parents and cousin Johnny. Red Robin has a plethora of brightly colored balloons at the entrance of the restaurant. (Satan is obviously a leading investor for Red Robin, along with his financial holdings of Applebees and TGI Fridays.) We told the children that they could not have a balloon because we are traveling and were about to depart for Datyon. We ultimately gave in, mostly because Tommy refused to go to the bathroom until he was granted a balloon (hey, I’m a softie and a four-year-old who consumed four cups of lemonade really needs to go to the bathroom before the start of a six-hour drive.) As we got the kids into the car, I thought to myself, “How long are these balloons going to make it.” The answer was about two hours. For the first two hours of the trip, the kids beat each other with their balloons and took turns using their balloon to block the view of the screen of the DVD player. We stopped for gas and a break in Central Illinois. When the door to the minivan opened Tommy’s red balloon was sucked up into the atmosphere. I tried in vain for a couple of seconds to grab it as Tommy’s tears had already begun. Cari tried to help, saying, “It’s okay Tommy. We’ll get you another balloon . . . someday.”

Even if they make it home, balloons simply don’t last. They either pop from playing with them or lose air the first night they are in the house. Balloons are also a source of frustration at one of our favorite local all-you-can-eat buffets. A creepy clown often works the crowd at this restaurant, giving balloon hats to the children (and also to the super hot women). He wears a big button that reads, “I’m paid only by your tips.” I should ignore this but always find myself paying the scary man a dollar. The buffet balloons not only cause problems (such as getting caught in the mac-n- cheese and dessert selections); they also cost me money!

Balloons also cause me problems from friends who know how much I hate balloons. “Former” dear friends and EckSpot subscribers Matt and Meg Frankovis decided to introduce chaos by purchasing a balloon for Cassie during our recent trip to the Wisconsin Dells. The problem was that they bought a balloon only for Cassie, not for Tommy nor the other two children who were with us. As you can imagine, Cassie did her “I have something Tommy does not have” dance and the three kids without balloons were none too happy. I bought a balloon for Tommy which was somehow defective, causing more crying. The restaurant replaced Tommy’s balloon (they actually have a little machine that defrauds parents out of $1 for a balloon), although I refused to talk to Meg or Matt for a good five minutes.

Nothing personifies Satan’s involvement in our lives more so than balloons. I suppose the actions of airline executives, parking attendants, and most elected officials come close. The next time you see a balloon, think of me pulling my graying hair out!

American Baglady Airlines

American Baglady Airlines
A Weekly Eckstra Column

Welcome to the first-ever official edition of the Weekly Eckstra. As I write this I am flying over the American Southwest, on an American Airlines flight from Phoenix to Dallas which will hopefully connect me to a flight back home to Dayton. While some of you were predicting that the first column would focus on a certain long anticipated anti-balloon rant (still to come), I decided to instead describe my experience flying to Phoenix on Friday.

If you have not flown in some time you may not realize that like many airlines, American Airlines now charges you to check a bag. The fee is $15 for the first bag and $25 for a second. I am unfortunately not blessed with the ability to travel lightly and also had many materials to bring with me for my presentation (to the University of Dayton Phoenix Alumni Chapter). Thus the need to check a bag.

Despite the unnecessary revenue enhancement collected by American, the check in process was no problem. Boarding the plane was. You see, on this particular flight (from Dayton to Dallas) nearly every passenger decided to avoid checking a bag by carrying all of their possessions on board the aircraft. People had plastic shopping bags, duffle bags, laptop cases, overstuffed purses, pillows, and more. In addition, people had the large but just small enough to cram into the overhead bin after 30 seconds of grunting rolling suitcases.

The overhead bins quickly filled and a minor state of panic set in. American Baglady Airlines offered to check anyone’s bag for a fee, an offer no one accepted. People were angry when asked to put their bags in overhead bins past their seat locations where there was a little space (this would delay the deplaning process by at least 35 seconds). Passengers were rushing about stuffing their belongings in every possible opening.

Ultimately the situation did work itself out, although the flight crew could not close the doors and push back until all of the “Wal-Mart shoppers” had gotten completely situated. I honestly don’t blame the people for trying to save a few bucks during a recession and also avoid the risk of lost luggage. I blame American Baglady Airlines for creating the policy which produced the chaos. If revenue is tight, increase the airfare by $15 rather than shaking every nickel and dime out of us. And while you are at it – let’s find a way to actually let us listen to our "portable electronic devices" for the vast majority of the flight!

Tommy and Cassie Can Ski! (2009 Ski Trip Report)

We recently had a great time on our annual family and friends ski trip, this year to the Wisconsin Dells area. It was quite the extended weekend of skiing and waterpark adventures. The big news from the trip is that both Cassie and Tommy entered the trip in more lessons and left as decent young skiers! By the last day of our trip green runs were no problems and easier blues were also an option. Cari and I are very proud of the kids!

There were also many humorous moments on the trip, such as this moment when Johnny climbed into the corn fields near one of the ski areas. I added a fun caption for effect.

We were so glad that Meg, Matt, and godson Dylan Frankovis joined us for the trip as well. Meg skied with us for one day and was quickly up to speed. She was so proud of herself!